Things Less Creepy Than Tony Abbott (An incomplete list)

This old house:

Houses are just structures that we live in. Sure the house might be haunted with a civil war ghost, and sure that ghost might float over your bed and wake you up in the middle of the night. But a house would protect a nun from rain, not weirdly and creepily kiss her.

This spider:

I HATE spiders. They are scary and creepy and poisonous and small and they scurry about and can hide in tiny places. They are awful. But have you ever seen footage of a spider asking a female apprentice if she ‘would be the most popular girl in the place'? Doubt it.

The twins from The Shining:

Little girls speaking in unison in a crazy-ass mansion where a man is losing his mind? Of course, we can all agree that is pretty creepy. But is it as creepy as Tony Abbott standing amongst a group of highschool netballers with that smile and saying ‘full body contact never hurt anyone’? 

Not a chance.